Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Fourth Post: **deep sigh**

It's been a rough few days for me. That lack of interaction with friends, physical pain after hurting myself after a pick up game of basketball and not having been able to talk to someone because of holding back. 

Having that feeling of being alone. and talking to them on Facebook and/or Skype really doesn't get my mood up. 5 months in after moving here from Manila, I admit it's been really stressful. There had been a few instances that I can't really eat, I'm not approachable, and I get pissed off easily. 

I feel like I'm living a life of a monk with lesser interaction to people, it's starting to make me become a more quiet person. A lot of people would say that I'm a loud one. They should try saying that to me now. 

I've been passing up on a chance to write this post because there's really nothing to write about, either good or bad. The feeling of being burned out, it's eating me up like a virus on steroids. mix it up with a messed up body clock, and a freaky weather pattern. I knew it's gonna f*** me up sooner or later. I'm doubting my mental state too as a matter of fact. I think I can't make better judgement calls now compared to how I did back then.

My life here ain't the same. I bet you feel that way too after seeing my posts on Facebook/Twitter. Inner peace? Solitude? Serenity? In all honesty, I can't find it here. The feeling that I'm like a deteriorating corpse just waiting for the crows to eat my flesh out of my skin.

I think I'll scratch that I'm living a monk's life. I think a more suitable comparison is I am currently living a life of a person rotting in prison.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Third Post: Friends

It's been a hundred plus days since I've been in California and I have yet to make a friend. A real one, who you can talk to with anything your minds can think of. Guys and gals to share good and bad memories with. People who help you to get over the hump.

They are people who make your simple life complicated and your complicated life simple. They help you out from the way you choose your clothes for some occasion to to just helping you to get up to start your daily grind. Right now it sucks that I can't help out the friends I left behind in Manila. I can only rely so much on Social Networking Sites (SNS) to get updates on what's happening. I feel like I'm letting people down because I can't help them sort out s***. A few days ago up until now I have a good friend that's been crying because of some unexplained crap. A few hours ago another friend just vented out at me because of a problem at work. The only thing I can do is help them in calming down and telling them what I think is the right thing to do. And there's this other friend that I can't contact because her boyfriend is too jealous of me that since he can access my friend's SNS accts, I was blocked.

It ain't easy to find people like that here I can tell you that in all honesty. People here my age have a very different lifestyle. They mature very early here that many are heavy drinkers, or raising kids because of unwanted pregnancy. I'm a guy who loves to talk and interact with people. Starting off with the most simple ideas, the people around us, and even the utter stupid stuff. 

Right now I really do appreciate SNS that are too many to mention. It's a big help in getting me through the depression, the stress, the longing to talk to real people. Although at times it sucks that can't talk with them personally, I can feel their presence at least and it gets me to survive the day.

How I wish that I can tell them face to face how thankful I am to have real friends like them. I appreciate everything even the smallest of things. I really hope to be able to see them all again very soon.


Sunday, January 25, 2015

The Second Post: A Lot Of Getting Used To..

It's been 2 months since I moved here to Cali and I still feel like a tourist. Everything is still new to me. The norms, the culture, the weather (that I'm having a hard time getting used to), the people living here, and don't forget he food.

Flying in from Manila, the first thing I felt different was the weather. Just stepping out of the plane, I felt the cold air through my sweater, my hands shaking, being able to see my breath going through my nose while exhaling. The sudden change in temperature made me feel weak. I'll never forget my second day here that I had fever because of that. Good thing that I'm slowly getting used to the weather now.

Have you ever received a compliment from a total stranger out of nowhere? I did and really didn't know what to reply so I just thanked him. The people here are actually nice. Contrary to popular belief that they are rude and disrespectful. If you happen to bump into one, it's more likely that they're having a bad day. Just like us they have it too. They are human after all. if you shop in malls in Manila you'll probably heard of this line "Hi Ma'am Sir, (insert product brand here)". It's way different and way more cool here. Instead of Salesladies/Salesmen, they are called store representatives. This their usual line here, "How are you doing today? Just want tell you that we have (insert current store promotion here)" If you need anything I'm (name of store rep) Just call my attention if you have questions. All day everyday I'd choose the latter cause it's more formal.

Being a guy who loves to eat, it is essential for me to be able to try food that aren't available back home. First off is Portions. The large back home is just the regular size here, sometimes its found to be classified under the kids' meal. Next up is Taste. The term "too" is something I use often. Too sweet, too salty, too sour, with the exception of too spicy because I eat spicy food rather well. Last thing is Price. Prices of food are different from here and back home. But i won't really convert prices because food and drinks are rather a necessity. As long as you can fill your tummy with good food just indulge.

There are a lot of things for me to get used to here and I gotta admit, I do miss home. But since I'm here due to very important reasons I'll endure. Sorry if I didn't put any pics.

'Til next time. :)