It's been a rough few days for me. That lack of interaction with friends, physical pain after hurting myself after a pick up game of basketball and not having been able to talk to someone because of holding back.
Having that feeling of being alone. and talking to them on Facebook and/or Skype really doesn't get my mood up. 5 months in after moving here from Manila, I admit it's been really stressful. There had been a few instances that I can't really eat, I'm not approachable, and I get pissed off easily.
I feel like I'm living a life of a monk with lesser interaction to people, it's starting to make me become a more quiet person. A lot of people would say that I'm a loud one. They should try saying that to me now.
I've been passing up on a chance to write this post because there's really nothing to write about, either good or bad. The feeling of being burned out, it's eating me up like a virus on steroids. mix it up with a messed up body clock, and a freaky weather pattern. I knew it's gonna f*** me up sooner or later. I'm doubting my mental state too as a matter of fact. I think I can't make better judgement calls now compared to how I did back then.
My life here ain't the same. I bet you feel that way too after seeing my posts on Facebook/Twitter. Inner peace? Solitude? Serenity? In all honesty, I can't find it here. The feeling that I'm like a deteriorating corpse just waiting for the crows to eat my flesh out of my skin.
I think I'll scratch that I'm living a monk's life. I think a more suitable comparison is I am currently living a life of a person rotting in prison.